The Bachelorette: Survivor/Apprentice Style

So, recently I was talking with a friend of mine how much we adore men (sarcasm). I think we're both just a little bruised and bitter... but anyway, I really wanted to share the conversation with you.

Me: I'm not dating til I'm married
Her: Hahaha I love that saying! My dad used to tell me all the time that I couldn't have a boyfriend until I was married. I'm so glad someone else understands that! Every time I tell someone, they just stare at me like I'm stupid.
Me: Yes! I'm just going to get married and then get to know my husband and make him take me on dates. Where's the closest mail order bride service I can sign up for?
Her: haha I love it! yeah seriously. ugh
Me: Can we sign up as a group? Like only men from the same neighborhood can marry us?
Her: Yes let's. And we need to be picky
Me: Yes! It's going to be an application and interview process
Her: Oh definitely! We do not need any crazies!
Me: Yea. I know someone that can probably do a background check for us
Her: Perfect! Definitely need those. They need to give us examples of date ideas too... what would they plan for a date?
Me: Omg. This convo will be my next blog (yep!)
Her: hahah yay! Love it! We are pretty smart :)
Me: We are. And we're awesome.
Her: Um yes of course! These men will be put through hell... and then we will be nice :)
Me: Yep! It'll be like the bachelorette except survivor/apprentice style
Her: Yes very good!! That is a great comparison :) and what to give out if we like the person... can't be a rose - that's too nice
Me: No... We punch the people we're getting rid of. The gift to the ones who get to stay is that they don't get abused.
Her: Great idea. I could really go for punching someone lol

Yes... well... so... somehow I always end up solving my problems with violence. That is not a good thing boys and girls. Violence doesn't make you feel better, it's being sneaky and passive-aggressive planning, that will satisfy your anger.

But the point is. My friend and I are both beautiful, awesome, smart, beautiful, funny, blonde women who are fluent in ASL. (I don't know why, but I felt that needed to be included in our talents) We are also beautiful in case you didn't catch that.

We are currently in the process of creating an application to date us. Men who are dumb, mean, liars, or just plain poopy need not apply.