It's a Love/Hate Relationship

I love my blog. I love writing in it, I love telling people not to read it and then secretly hoping they show it to all their friends because I’m too awesome not to share. As a personal goal, I want to post every day, but we all know that would be excessive. And really, I don’t have that many topics to blabber on about, my writing gets boring and that’s even worse than my regular blog posts.

Today, I have thought of something I wanted to write about. The things I love, and the things I hate. My sister, who doesn’t read this blog would be rolling her eyes and thinking “she hates everything, it would be a never ending list, we’d all die before she got halfway through.”

She’s wrong. I don’t hate everything! I hate a lot of things, but not everything, that would just be silly. The things that I don’t hate, I LOVE! If you haven’t yet noticed, my emotions go from one extreme to the next. I hate or love, there really isn’t much in between that I’m impartial about. I go from happy to sad, angry to ecstatic in seconds. Here is where my friends from high school who also don’t read my blog would be thinking, “she could have summed that up in one word: bipolar.”

They’re wrong too! I am not bipolar, I just think quicker than everyone else. I think I explained that in my last post, which is why I was able to shoot from here to there, I just get angrier or happier than others quicker because my ginormous brain processes things faster than everyone else’s.

Anyway, I would like to start off with the things that I hate, so I can end with the things I love. That way I don’t seem like such a Debbie Downer when you’re done.

Things I Hate:

Green beans. I have never been a fan, they’re freaking gross! Tomatoes are the same, except I want to like those… I even used to make myself eat them… perhaps it was an acquired taste? I didn’t acquire it. Blech.

Coffee. Coffee flavored anything, how people can put that to their lips is beyond me.

People on FB. Or just FB in general. I hate all of the negative comments, I hate that people get the things I want and they post it all over my stupid newsfeed, and I hate that I can’t delete them or my own page because I’m too nosy, and like the rest of society, have become obsessed with it.

Boys who act like girls. Not gays, I love the gays. I’m talking about boys who let their emotions overrun their life… There’s only enough room in this relationship for an emotional freak and I claimed that long ago! I used to date this guy who would rest his head on my shoulder when we would watch movies. I’m not saying I don’t like the sentimental gesture, but there is a way to lean on your girlfriend and that’s not it! I’m 5’2” and a hundre.. uhhmm.. I’m 5’2”! You’re not! Do not blanket your body over me so you can droop your big head on my shoulder. That’s my job, your shoulder is at my head height when we’re sitting, I get to lean MY head on YOUR shoulder because it’s easy.

When grown people say “death” instead of “deaf”. Do you really not know the difference? Have you really gone through your entire life not knowing that there is a HUGE difference between a person being deaf and a person being death? I can understand as a child the two sounds are almost similar and the mouth movements aren’t too varied… but someone should have explained to you along the way that Death carries a scythe and ceases your ability to breathe. Deaf carries nothing so they can talk with their hands because they don’t have the ability to hear! Gosh… if you’re making this mistake, what other stupid things are you doing that we should probably just lock you up?

Puke. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE PUKE. I hate when they show it on tv, I hate when people puke in public, I HATE PUKE. It makes me want to puke and that’s even worse. All your breath gets taken out of your body… and then all of your food comes out the wrong end! I don’t know about you, but I like having my food inside my stomach until it’s READY to leave… until I’ve squeezed ever calorie from that snickers bar and it’s useless to me. Eh, gag, I’m thinking about it now… bluh.

Improper use of to, two, and too; there, their, and they’re; and your and you’re. Enough said.

People who think that gay people are “gross”. Seriously, grow up. No one wants to hear anything about your private life either… it’s not like it’s the cherry on top of my day… It’s disgusting… It’s more like green beans instead of frosting. You have ruined my cupcake by telling me about your sex life.

Men who say, “I don’t mind gay people unless they hit on me.” GET OVER YOURSELF! You don’t even have girls flirting with you! What makes you think that a man, who is probably very particular about the people he dates, is going to hit on YOU?! You are NOT that good looking to begin with, believe me… no gay man is going to hit on you. I promise.

 Hmm… Ok, I feel like that is more than enough of your time that you will never get back.

Things I Love:

Glitter