GameStop: The Smell of Loser and Shame

Let’s talk about boys here for a little bit.  In what world is it sensible to get rid of some of the things you used to play with to get new things that cost more? Oh, yea… the GameStop world. How many countless times have I seen boys sell their precious games that they just HAD to buy to get a couple bucks to buy the new game that just came out? Here’s what gets me for real. They may get $30 back for 3 games, just to buy 1 new game that costs $60. AND THEY THINK IT’S A DEAL!

Nerd Boy “Yea, I went to GS and I sold back a couple games so I could get the new God of War”

Dumb Girl “Oh that’s cool, so do you like get it for free?” (And yes, I said that like a teenager)

Nerd Boy “No, I got $30 for the old games and the new one was about $60… so it’s like half off!”

NO! No, it is not like half off…. Here’s what actually happened. You no longer have 3 things you used to have, and still had to pay for this one new thing that all you’re going to do in 6 months is try to sell it back again.

The last time I walked into GameStop I was overpowered with this abysmal odor that clung to me like nerds were all clinging to their newly found friends. And by ‘friends’, of course I mean Black Ops II. It was repellant!

Now, I would never choose to go into a GameStop on my own. I’ve been there a couple times with others, but I buy my games from Target, where it’s a little more expected that you shower before leaving your cave. But this time I was on a date and Michael really wanted to see if they had… something… Lord knows I don’t remember, nor do I care, what it was.

It was packed. And I’m not kidding you when I say it smelled like “loser and shame”. I know the smell well. I have a brother and a boyfriend, both of whom have spent hours on end sitting Indian style on the floor in front of the T.V. playing some stupid game. How recent they’ve acquired the game is absolutely proportional to how long they will sit in front of the T.V. The first day of the game is hours upon hours of holding your pee until you absolutely can’t hold it anymore, running to the kitchen to throw some chicken tenders in the microwave so they can heat up while you’re in the bathroom. Staying up all night, ignoring your phone, your family, your girlfriends, until you realize you have to be up in 3 hours so maybe you need some sleep. The second day, you wake up late, don’t shower, run to class, get sweaty, come home, re-heat the chicken tenders and play until you go cross eyed.

Eventually, you come back to normal life, the game isn’t as important… but your butt prints are still in the carpet and you can still faintly smell the shame seeping out over the air fresheners your mom bought you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love all my boys very much. I bought my brother Black Ops II when it came out, and it’s not always even boys. My best friend, Kristen, is an avid gamer. But she doesn’t smell bad when she plays too long.

Please, if you ever wonder how serious I’m being… go to your nearest GameStop and just walk in for a minute. Take a breath (not a deep one, we don’t want you to choke) and just observe what is going on around you. You’ll understand.

Bleh! I get chills just thinking about it!